And then there was this!

If you don't like long posts, here is the summary: "I think Steven Youell is a dick!"

Hi Steven, I'm sure you are reading this. So this is directed towards you. I'm sure you will read every last word of it. I think you are a dick. A bad person and an overall despicable human being. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

When it was obvious to me that you had to be Jerry Lukins, I knew that a shit storm would start once this surfaced. I knew that Andrew would get all mad. So I decided to do something civil. I decided to talk to you. I could have shut up and Andrew would have provided all the technical proof and you would have been in a more than awkward situation. You would have felt secure under your awesome "screen of anonymity" and it would have gone bad for you. But I decided to talk to you. Oh boy what a mistake that was.

Not only did I underestimate your malice, no I did something far worse. I abused Andrew's trust by sending you one of Andrews emails.

I don't know how to make it up to Andrew, I don't know if there is anything I can do to save the valued friendship that considered to have with Andrew. Only because I was dumb enough to decide to talk to you.

I thought you were a civil man, I honestly thought you overreacted. I honestly thought you were such an impulsive character that was lead by strong emotions that the creation of Jerry Lukins was a mistake. Nothing more than a simple mistake.

In that email I sent you I asked you not tell anybody of my attempt to mend the situation that YOU had created.

In your apology, that you would release later on, you claimed "I just didn't care if people eventually found out". I think otherwise. My little email suddenly made you aware that you are not secure under your "screen of anonymity". The Mule pointed it out very early on. And in my email I wrote: "I won't bore you with the technical details". And suddenly there was the sudden hint of ways to prove your identity by technical means. That must have ultimately led to the apology you released just a few hours later.

I pretty sure you decided to do that, because it was the ONLY way for your to get out of this with just some scratches. You are smart after all.

Here is another way you could have solved this: You could have just answered my email and not assume it was a ploy to get you to admit your are Jerry Lukins. You could have indeed trusted me, being a negotiator. I could have mended the situation. I'm actually good at that sort of shit. I've done it many time before. You don't hear of this of course. But no, your mistrust led your assumption that it was all a ploy. Then you wrote in my comments: "Roland: I never would have beaten been able to do that if you hadn't have forwarded me the email that you claim was from Andrew."

To which I replied: "Wtf is wrong with you? I asked you to not tell anybody. Now you did. I have tons of explaining to do, just because you saw it as a ploy? Great, your paranoia has led to the worst of all possible conclusions."

And then you had the balls to write me this: "I already forwarded a copy to Andrew and the Smiling Fool. Enjoy the situation you have created. This is for telling “Jerry Lukins” that I’m a dangerous psychotic. You didn’t even know who you were talking to and you told him that. SEY"

Enjoy the situation I have created? YOU FUCKING CREATED IT BY COWARDLY DECIDING TO BE JERRY LUKINS.

EDIT: I removed a part of the text here. I did that because someone requested it. And he had a good point.

Now let's talk about your apology. You claim that the blogs are "badmouthing" Well, I will not defend the other blogs, but I will defend mine. I'm not out to badmouth people. I'm badmouthing certain actions that I consider a failure as those actions either hurt magic or people by doing magic. Usually those actions are connected to people. That's normal. So I mention those people and what they did. It's about what they did, about the action, not about the person.

That is why a magician arrested for owning child pornography did not end up on my blog. That is why a magician arrested for killing another person did not end up on my blog. Their actions did not hurt magic, and did not hurt other people by doing magic. It's unfathomable what they did and to what dark side of being a human they go. But this is not what my blog is about. It's about magic. Bad magic.

And instead of apologizing you instead whine about my blog post ending up higher on Google leading to you lose "a few prospective clients". Oh come one. I know that you are butthurt about this, but this is not my fault. And it seems to be a unique problem of yours. I wrote far more and far worse stuff about Shawn, yet my blog does not show up. Somehow he knows how to deal with it. That is to ignore it. That is to go on. That is to not be butthurt. Not engaging in combat, thereby feeding the algorithm that Google's search engine is based off. You created this situation. And you know what. How come, that I have to tell you these things. You're a grown man for fucks sake. But you behave like a child.

And I thought so before I saw your signature.

Look at that. Does this look like the signature of a grown man? Hardly. First grade at best.

Okay, this wasn't very adult of me to make fun of such a small little detail. Nevermind. Pretend this didn't happen.



You know what... Steven, when you abused the trust I put in you, you thereby nullified any effort to mend the situation. That fact that you took down the apology means you don't stand behind it. The fact that your apology is just whining, the fact that you are in my humble opinion a psychopath means you are a dick.

Just a dick. And if this is our new status quo, then I'm fine with this. And if by any chance I ever write about you again, it will be about what you did. Not about you. If it would have been another person doing it, I would write about them.

No, wait, better. I'm gonna help you. Seriously. I will not mention your name from now on. That way it will not crawl up the Google rankings ruining your business with "a few prospective clients". I will only refer to you, if I have to, as "the dick".

PS. You actually are in a club, that you pay money for, so you can tell the world that you are smart? Man, that's not so smart. Smartness obviously doesn't lead to wisdom!

PPS. First post of this blog is online again. With all the comments.